mondays are the dregs of life.

These are pictures from the toga party I went to on Saturday. It was raining, and I was wearing flipflops, but other than that, it was a blast. So, here is how my miserable monday went:

7:00 am Climb out of bed, disoriented with only 4 hours of sleep.
8:00 am Show up to Campus Po to go to a volunteer event, but no one shows up.
8:20 am Eat Breakfast. Go back to my dorm room. Climb into bed.
11:00 am Wake up, finish psychology reading, then head over to class.
4:00 pm Finally finish french where I was so out of it. Do nothing
5:00 pm Dinner at the Wang, go check mail which contained a postcard.
6:00 pm Yoga class, a bit strenuous, but the last 10 minutes were heaven.
7:44 pm Write this. Waste time and procrastinate doing a shitload of homework.

Yeah, so it turns out the girl that was driving me to my volunteer thing never showed and without any notice. So pretty much, I woke up earlier than I have in more than 4 months or so and ended up not even being able to go to the school to tutor little kindergarteners. I'm so angry. I hate the world right now (sleep deprived).

That's the dark side. The light side is, I reallly can't wait for friday (I'm going to the aquarium with nick :), and I'll also be wearing my new outfit which is the cutest thing ever. The weather matches my mood. Bah.

Some things can't be undone.

I got a traffic ticket today. It's a bit of a shock because its not what I expected it to be.

Conclusions:
Don't ever do colin favors.
Don't beaner pack. Cops will catch you.
Don't ever go to church events. ever.

i am for you - waking ashland

The past few days (and the next couple of days will be) have been packed with so many things (perhaps to make up for the summer weeks that have been spent doing nothing). There is so much on my summer todo list, yet I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface of everything that I could do, so I'm going to carpe diem. I've been dreaming so much more, too, so I decided to start a dream journal with a pretty cream coloured journal with trees on it.

Tuesday: Luella and I went to the flea market (after a bit of searching for the exact location). We looked around and found numerous glasses, and odds and ends. Luella found a cute lighter that cost too much, and I found some old teapots for my mom's collection, but I couldn't remember how the rest of her's looked so I didn't buy them. Instead, I bought an old manual film camera with a flash included! I was very very excited. After, we went to the antique store and the thrift store, but we didn't get anything. After I got to lauren's house, I had to go back home to help daddy, but we got into this big old fight which made me feel so crummy in general. Anyhow, I went back and organized all my tabs with luella (we are such neat freaks), and dean asked me to go watch the dark knight with him. I went; it is AMAZING. Back at his house, he burned me a cd of his favorite songs and we talked the night away.

Wednesday: I woke up so restless, unprepared for a long day of rollercoasters and sore throats from screaming. X2, tatsu, water ride, deja vu, csi show, riddler's revenge<3, etc.

Tomorrow will be a wonderful day, I can feel it in my bones.

cute dolls,

To do list for 7/14:
- finish math placement exam
- go to barnes& nobles
- hangout with kristen at night

- hang out with the gang

- read and/or watch movie (pokemon)

edit:

I'm still working on my math placement exam! I can't remember any calculus at all (its very frustrating because I feel incredibly stupid and slow... like a slow slow sloth). Math is going to be the death of me.

Today was made up of boba milk tea at lollicup with lauren and luella while I worked on calc, car rides with luella as the driver, barnes & nobles, emily dickinson, little bear books, spinach & mac and cheese & mashed potatoes at boston market, bubble game on vincent's phone, pokemon shows, & driving james' car :)

I'm slowly thawing. I promise I'm trying.

I cant sleep cause it hurts when I think

I slept when the sun came up because I was reading all the new books (and the ones dean lent me). I woke up late after everyone already went to the beach. I have this weird feeling in my tummy, like its an empty black hole. Everything's lined up neatly in a row; I've put Jack Johnson on repeat. Now I wish I could rearrange my molecules into his voice and travel through the airwaves. It hurts so much more now than it did before. The only refuge I can find is the ones you disagree with.

edit:
So this entire day has been a jumble, ups and downs. I went over to eileen's to watch pan's labyrinth; it was such a sad movie. After a mountain of sweets & goldfish, I headed home, but through sheer inspiration, I hopped off at RR. I walked through the entire golf course for an hour, gazing at the beauty. I had never felt so serene and one with nature, with the sky and the leaves, the wind blowing a cool breeze on my face. I came home, a bit distraught after a woman yelled at me and said I was going to get hit in the head with a golfball. When I got home, I was shocked at all of the drama that had been going on. I really just didn't want any drama, especially getting involved in things I don't care about. (Everyone's real mature, aren't we?) Anyways, to ease how upset I was over this entire (d/a) situation, I got malted milkshakes with kristen. And got more mad at certain people in the process. Ah well, I hope this all blows over.

lars and the real girl is amazing

Vehement, boiling, burning like the sun's molten surface, my anger rages past logic and sensibility. Your ridiculous laws and dictatorial viewpoints send me into raging storms that cloud my mind and transforms my calm facade into turbulent waves. Dark like the pit of the sea, the slime of thoughts crawl into my head and stab at my heart, hardening it into a cold dead object. I hate hating, and I hate having my emotions control me.


And also, we aren't allowed to use phones in our car anymore. HANDFREE :) Time for a bluetooth.