you know that you need to stop

I feel so entirely pathetic, to let you get to me like that. All I can hope for is that my brain will disconnect from my heart, and my heart from my body. Days pass by so quickly, yet so slowly without seeing you here. (I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself get attached, but how could you not?)

Wednesday the 30th: I went over to luella's to watch a series of unfortunate events. We went over to a. to carwash and spent hours scrubbing the hubcaps. Partying it up at night, I really made a big mistake. It was so much fun, though this week has been full of firsts. Everyone was super nice, and I had fun, but I almost started crying on the way home. Guilty conscience I suppose. (I really did feel bad getting caught).

Thursday the 31st: the girls + jusin went to the getty to picnic and look at pictures and photographs. There was this interesting photography gallery where it was the progression of humanity and how that progression is actually the destruction of humanity. It was some amazing stuff. Then we made masks; I was harry potter, luella was joker, lauren was darth, jusin was just a blank face. We had so much fun just wearing them around. I also forgot that I ate breakfast with luella (she makes a mean tuna melt!). I had to run errands, it was so rediculous.

Friday August 1st: I don't remember much except getting my hair cut and shopping for college stuff. It finally started to hit me that I'm leaving to the east coast; mom and I stood silently in contemplation (I almost started crying in the middle of target). Everything I bought was pink except the towels :) I'm so glad my roommate likes pink. I ate italian with my parents (first time I had dinner with them in a long time). They headed off to church; I headed home. I was feeling a bit lonesome; luella and lauren were going to oxnard and I felt almost lost. Instead, I watched Tristan + Isolde with v & j. It's such a lovely movie and it makes me feel so heartbroken (I'm going to name my son Tristan I swear).