Je t'aime.

Today has been strange. I woke up with a heavy heart, one of those dreams you can't remember was about except for the feeling it left behind. I sat and listened to paperplain and elliott smith; I looked down into my ugly mug. The tea dregs were left at the bottom, and I swirled my cup and they danced around. Reading tea leaves is almost like an art, but you only see what you want to believe. They only tell you what they want you want to hear.

"It isn't that they can't see the solution. Its that they can't see the problem." - G.K. Chesterton

Call Ended
2:49 am, Oct 15, 08
50min 27secs

And after I hung up the phone, I had this sense of wholeness. Like we had formed another connection, that our bond was stronger. I believe there is a thread that connects you to every person you meet. And the more you begin to understand, the more you learn to love and care for someone, the Fates weave you together to form a story, a tapestry of your life. Though we talked about silly things like being shallow or jujitsu, my halloween outfit and french homework. There was so much more behind what was unsaid and even between whispers, our heart beat. And it scares me a little because when you're that close to someone, its gives them a chance to see who you really are. And forming words becomes incoherent because all of these thoughts bouncing around your head.

Its in moments like these that I begin to love you. That I forgive you for everything else and it all seems to melt away. I can't even remember why I was so upset, that I had even dreamed of pushing myself away. All I know is what I love about you.

can work and play really balance?

drowning drowning drowning.
everything just rushes past while
you work your way, trying to
keep yourself from drowning in it
and when you feel like you're done,
no. it all catches up with you.
and then you're drowning once again.
every moment you put off,
you've just made ten times the load
for yourself. every time you breathe,
no, there's no time to breathe,
to eat, to sleep, to live, to laugh.
except only when i'm with you.
That's the only time that everything
seems to stop catching up with
me and then it all freezes.
then you leave the picture.
and it's this vicious cycle again.

i only saw you yesterday.

c: "come to wellesley."
n: "lol seriously? you going to make it worth it?"
c:" i'm always worth it hahahha ;]"
n: "alright ;] i'll get on the 10 bus"

this makes me laugh really really hard.

Je t'aime

We were crazy, like children introduced to chocolats. And we stood there on top of the picnic table, laughing and screaming until our sides burst and our breaths were thin as paper dolls pinned up to bulletin boards (but we broke free). I don't even remember what we were laughing about, but it was the greatest feeling in the world. "We should record our lives" (I think that is absolutely briliant). If I could document every living moment where I really existed in that moment, in that place in time, I could replay it when all I could feel like was losing myself. "11:11!" I shouted, and then we squeezed our eyes shut and prayed that maybe we'd get our wishes (I wished for him to love). We giggled nonsenses into the gigantic celestial sphere of stars, our voices lost between crackling leaves, ready to turn red and orange for fall. When they get crunched on during autumn, the echoes of our laughter will seep out like water from a sponge (I am sure of it). I believe in the law of attraction. I believe in fate, in sunday sundaes, in eating oranges at 2 am, and in loving you. All I can breathe is your scent between my bedsheets and when I begin to miss you too much, I always pull knotted straw wrappers, hoping you're thinking of me. Believe, believe, believe.

I believe in you.
Please believe in me.

dream on

I am extremely happy because I just bought a bunch of textbooks from girls at wellesley for very cheep ($5 each when theyre originally about 15 bucks). I am nervous about my classes tomorrow though!

Classical mythology
Astronomy 108