Je t'aime.

Today has been strange. I woke up with a heavy heart, one of those dreams you can't remember was about except for the feeling it left behind. I sat and listened to paperplain and elliott smith; I looked down into my ugly mug. The tea dregs were left at the bottom, and I swirled my cup and they danced around. Reading tea leaves is almost like an art, but you only see what you want to believe. They only tell you what they want you want to hear.

can work and play really balance?

drowning drowning drowning.
everything just rushes past while
you work your way, trying to
keep yourself from drowning in it
and when you feel like you're done,
no. it all catches up with you.
and then you're drowning once again.
every moment you put off,
you've just made ten times the load
for yourself. every time you breathe,
no, there's no time to breathe,
to eat, to sleep, to live, to laugh.
except only when i'm with you.
That's the only time that everything
seems to stop catching up with
me and then it all freezes.
then you leave the picture.
and it's this vicious cycle again.

I can see what you will never be

You don't know
if what you did was
Right or Wrong.
The lines have bled like
Pouring water
On an ink page
(no longer can you
make out the words that
spell out who you are).
So you weave yourself
Another being that you may
Wear its shell and
pretend that you are another.
Now everyone thinks you're
such a heartless
Bitch.
But only you can look
At the mess left on the inside
of your rotting corpse.
You scream for life,
but all life does is scream
back at you.
You wish you could stop
stop building walls and
stop building things
that push them away.
But you can't stop,
no never.
Never again you tell
yourself.
Because it was the biggest
mistake in your life to
love or to trust, or to see
with your own eyes.
If you could only see
the beauty of this world
and fold all those bad memories
like paper planes and make
them fly away.