coffee breaths

And I'm not hallucinating. My brain is such a wreck right now, but I know I'm right about this because everyone else sees it too. I feel like a starfish, slowly attaching myself to things that will disappear; and yet, I'm not the starfish because I am also the one slowly disappearing. If I could only understand what's around me, like extending my thoughts, projecting them through space and time.

Monday, I rolled out of bed and waited for the phone to ring. I went to venice beach with the gang; my dslr died, so I took pictures with my manual film camera that I bought from the flea market. We roamed the streets and looked at the weird buddha statue. Then we ate sandwiches that j. had made (he is a very good cook, I must say). We went to the rocks in the sand and did yoga stances and chased the seagulls and pretended we had only one toe (lauren). Everyone was like a banded discord; I wrote your name in the sand. I kept talking because I only wanted you to notice, but I'm beginning to realize its to late and all we can do is reminisce of better times. We stargazed.

Today, an earthquake woke me up. Consequently, I forgot my fantastic dream (I know it was good because I was sad that I woke up). It wasn't like the past dreams where its a chase or something restless; it was an adventure, but not one that wears you out. I went over to luella's and she uploaded the pictures from our photoshoot a couple days ago. We were supposed to watch gilmore girls, but I'm sure we'll get around to that soon (I'm a bit excited since my roommate loves that show). I went back home to buy groceries and eat raspberries and make chocolate cream pie (cross that off the checklist). I went back to lauren's, but d. called and we were going to leave. After much confusion, d & I ended up getting starbucks then watching this little city twinkle from the park on the hill. I don't know how to feel; I dont know how to think. What is living without regrets? I don't know any more.