I'm actually quite bitter that my postsecret wasn't posted in time to show him. It read "Summer is almost here, and its breaking my heart because you'll be gone." Everything has changed; it feels so strange going back and rereading all of those posts where my heart was so full of angst and pain and love and joy. And all of those feelings, and they fade, and they come again, and they fade. And I reread the notes we wrote to one another. And I wonder, will you reread that letter I wrote you? And will you remember me? or will I fade, like every other girl that had the misery of passing you by. Let me blend in with the fabrications of your past, just like old stories, past lovers, missed opportunities. Don't forget, don't forget me when you're holding her tightly, kissing her forehead like you did mine, or brushing her hair behind her ears. Is it my voice that you hear when she speaks? Is it my touch that you wish for? Is it my lips you're kissing? I've accepted that good things don't last forever, I've accepted that you're gone. I can't accept that I'm gone though.

I can't do this any more. I read your words over and over and over. Until the black letters fade into gray and I can only see the blur of what was. What if I can't do this? I asked. What if I'm not strong enough? Oh its breaking my heart how you're just so complacent with how things are. How perfect things are going for you. I'm almost bitter, but how could you stay angry for long at someone with such sweet sentiments and wide smiles? All of it is stripped away the moment you walk in. You're so entitled to what's best, and I'm more than willing to give it. Turning the tables has never been this hard (see who is the one playing games now?). I can't give in, but I can't give up. Not knowing what to do has never been this painful before.